The Sweet Smell of Embrocation

A couple of weeks ago, I was thinking of writing about the sweet smell. Well, rather, that the sweet smell had become not sweet at all. For those of you non-cyclists who may happen to read this and wonder what embrocation is - think of the act of using Icy-Hot or similar substance to rub into sore muscles. But in cold weather prior to a ride, some cyclists slather on designer concoctions of the stuff like a schmear on a New York City bagel.

Velo-dude is one such cyclist. And whatever concoction he had been using of late this winter, the smell was over the top. It clung to the air in my house for hours after he departed for a ride. It found its way to areas of my house he hadn't been in. It was a nostril-burning sensation that seemed to permeate my entire head, even making its way to my taste buds. And I had just about had enough. As in, about ready to sneak into his closet, find the offending item, and confiscate. But this morning, I was pleasantly surprised. I think he got some new stuff. Not bad. When he came down to give me a kiss goodbye, I prepared to hold my breath, but I realized it wasn't necessary. Instead of the pungent odor taking control of all my senses, I got a subtle whiff of something faintly familiar and not too terribly unpleasant. Hmm. I was even able to kiss him back. He went on his merry way, and about 10 minutes later I headed upstairs to collect some laundry. As I passed the bathroom, I thought "wow, did he clean the toilets before he left? How sweet!" I kept walking, then realized what an utterly preposterous thought that was (he's great at picking up, vacuuming, and doing dishes. I don't believe he has EVER cleaned a bathroom since we married 21 years ago). Then I stopped to wonder why I had even had such a thought. And I realized, the new embrocation cream smells EXACTLY like Lysol toilet bowl cleaner (my brand of choice, only because that's what they carry at Costco with occasional coupons that I can't pass up). So, it smelled faintly familiar (only faintly because that's the kind of housekeeper I am). Still lingers in the house for a while after he leaves. But not totally offensive, and I can pretend I have clean bathrooms if only for a while. Good stuff that is. Must go sneak through the closet and find the brand. Perhaps he'll get a stash for Valentine's day tomorrow. Because that's the kind of romance we like to keep alive in this house.