exam hangover

I have that bad hangover taste in my mouth. Not alcohol-induced. More like...poor-preparation-for-an-important-job-related-exam-induced. I don't know why I am having so much trouble focusing on study time at this point in my life, but it's pretty bad. I made it through graduate school 15 years ago, so what's the big deal? Two little things called Pinky and Curly, I guess. Plus a little laziness added in. I did hammer away for the past few weeks, but just like last time, seems to have been too little too late. Somehow I am going to have to break out of this cycle and get down to business next time around. I have 2 months until results come out, during which I will teach myself an undergraduate-level business course (totally different topic), take mini-exam at the end of the year, and then see in early January whether I need to restudy the same material from this last big exam, or whether I get to move on to the next one. Realistically, I don't stand a chance in hell of passing, based on the number of items with which I had difficulty. But, I know my routine. As the next 2 months progress, I will start to get glimmers of hope that somehow I pulled it off (everyone else did just as bad, my random guesses on the multiple choice beat all odds and were all correct, etc). Then the day results come out, I will be thinking I have half a chance, until I scroll through that list, searching for my id number, and alas, it will not be there. Shot down again. I will fight off tears, as this will be on a weekday, mid afternoon, and I will be at work. Oh, the beauty of this twisted semi-annual drill. (and the new twist to this will be that it will be early January, right in the thick of year-end reporting which is way bigger deal with my new position, so I will not be able to walk out the door and start drowning my sorrows).

Ugh.

But, that is it for my self-pitying/self-loathing, on this site, for now. Time to enjoy the little things again, and maybe blog about a few of the good ones.